


A Flame In The Wind.

by brooklynbis



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: 3x16 Coda, Alec is a good boyfriend, Angry Magnus, Clizzy - Freeform, F/M, HOTI Alec Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Malec, Mental Health Issues, Mundane Magnus Bane, Post 3x16, Protective Alec Lightwood, Sacrifice, Supportive Alec Lightwood, Supportive Magnus Bane, and rightly so honestly, clace, i wrote this ages ago and only finished it now lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-27 02:33:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19781455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brooklynbis/pseuds/brooklynbis
Summary: "I-I gave up my magic, who I am, almost got myself killed to free you from her fucking hold because it was destroying everyone, and a couple of weeks later you fucking bring her back here?!"_________________________AKA a post 3x16 fic where Magnus is allowed to be angry at the fact that they summoned Lillith. (I finally finished this one from my drafts!)





	A Flame In The Wind.

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warnings : none I don't think  
> title from 'happier' by marshmello and bastille.  
> comments, feedback and kudos would be appreciated if you enjoyed, plus any prompts which you can leave in the comments or in my tumblr ask box @/brooklynbis (Pls give me prompts and shit, I love writing shit that other people like to read!)

It was the following day that Magnus got released from the infirmary when he found out. He'd been sick to death of the bright blue walls and everything glowing around him to the point of giving him a headache. Of course, Alexander was doing everything in his power to make sure he was comfortable and alright, but he also wouldn't begin working again until he was given the all clear. 

The first day, Magnus relished his freedom, even if it was without his magic. He felt lost, empty almost without it, the whole world dullened without the quiet buzz of magic beneath his skin. It became a part of him once he accepted it, and he couldn't feel himself without it. However, he didn't want Alec to worry about him, so he visited Catarina and Madzie, and they went out for coffee to pass the time. 

The second day, Alec was up before Magnus had fully woken up, only the faint warmth from the bedsheets suggesting he had even been there at all. Magnus understood that he had paperwork to catch up on, and he needed to get updates from Jace and Izzy about what happened whilst he was gone, but the only people he felt like being around was Alec and Catarina, and he'd already bothered her enough. 

So he went to breakfast alone. He could still feel the stares on him, perhaps even more intense without Alec by his side, but he couldn't just magic something nicer to Alec's room anymore. He grabbed the first tray of food available in the canteen and quickly sought out some familiar, welcoming faces in the form of Izzy, Jace and Clary. 

"Morning," he greeted, receiving smiles in response. Out of all the Shadowhunters here, these were definitely the ones he was the most comfortable with. 

"How are you feeling? You look better," Izzy gestured to him as she ate a spoonful of cereal. 

"Wondrous what some makeup and styling products can do, Isabelle dear," He responded with a smile, knowing she only meant it in a nice way. 

"Have you seen Alec this morning? I was going to check in on him after this, he wasn't there this morning," Magnus asked. 

"No, but he wants to see us in a bit to catch him up on events whilst the two of you were gone," Jace said, pointedly looking at Izzy, and he noticed the guilty glances between the three of them. 

"Have I missed something here?" He asked after coughing, putting down his spoon gently as Jace sat forward. 

"Look, I think you should know this first Magnus," he started as he frowned in confusion, Clary interrupting him before he got the chance. 

"You know the rune Lillith put on me to link me and Jonathon? The Silent Brothers said they'd never seen a bond so strong, and there wasn't much they could do, so I made a stupid decision," She started. 

"Clary, we all agreed on it, it wasn't just you," Jace interrupted as Magnus nodded at her to continue. 

"I-I thought that we should go to the source, so we summoned Lillith. And I swear, our plan was fool proof! I didn't mean to mess it up," She said, tears forming in her eyes and Magnus could've sworn he saw red. 

"How the hell did you summon her?" he asked lowly. 

"She created a summoning rune. It was all going to plan, but she got to Cain and manipulated him into letting her go whilst Jonathon was attacking us-" Jace tried to intervene, noticing Clary's emotional state, but the more he spoke, the more anger was building up inside Magnus. 

"So Lillith's back? As well as Jonathon?" He asked for confirmation as the three of them nodded. 

"We captured Jonathon though, he's downstairs in the basement locked up," Isabelle said as Magnus stood up suddenly. 

"Do I look like I give a flying fuck about Jonathon?" He seethed, and he noticed the room quietening considerably to listen in, but he was past the point of caring. "I-I gave up my magic, who I am, almost got myself killed to free you from her fucking hold because it was destroying everyone, and a couple of weeks later you fucking bring her back here?!" He said as the three of them stared at him in shock, Jace soon getting up. 

"Magnus, it wasn't like that, but we had no other options-" 

"You were in charge whilst Alec was gone! Did you really have such a lack of common sense to think, 'hey, maybe this isn't such a good fucking idea'? Does Alec know about this?" He asked as Jace came around to the same side of the table as him. 

"We were gonna tell him in a bit, but he was so busy with you we didn't want to make things worse. We had no other choice, Magnus. We got rid of her last time, we'll find her and get rid of her again," Jace tried to calm him down, aware of how many people were staring. 

"Bullshit! We don't have any magic to trade, or a Mark Of Cain this time you idiot. I swear to God, did you even think about the trouble Alec will get into for this? He's going to take the shit the Clave give him for something he didn't even know was happening, and for what?!" 

"I-I gave up everything I had, everything I am to help you, to save you. And you've all just made that completely pointless, so give yourselves a round of applause. I won't be fucking helping you this time around," He seethed, tossing his napkin to the ground before storming out of the canteen, and quickly out of the institute without even as much as a cell phone with him. 

________________________

It was hours before anybody tried to approach him, yet he couldn't calm down. 

He couldn't remember a time he had been angrier in his long life. He felt so lost without his magic, so empty, but he almost (almost) felt like he could live with it with Alec by his side, and with the knowledge of how many lives he had saved by freeing Jace from her hold. He could survive with that knowledge. 

And now he didn't even have that. Not only was Lillith back, but they didn't appear to feel much remorse for what they had done. His magic was gone, for nothing. They were back to square one, and now Alec's job was probably on the line for something he had no part in, and everything he had done was pointless. 

He'd never felt worse. 

He'd never openly admit to going to a bar in the middle of the morning, but he knew nobody would look for him there. Least of all Alec. 

And yet here he was. Stood in the doorway, quickly scanning the bar to find him. 

"Hey," He said quietly when he approached Magnus, sitting on a barstool beside him as Magnus stared into his empty glass. "Apparently you caused a ruffling of some feathers this morning," he said, making Magnus almost snort slightly at the under exaggeration. 

"Have you spoken to Jace yet?" He replied, not looking at Alec. He was praying to whatever angels there were that Alec knew, and he wouldn't have to repeat what had happened in their absence. 

"Not yet, I was going to but Underhill told me you had left in quite a state, and I wanted to make sure you were alright. Why?" He asked suspiciously, slowly reaching over to take one of Magnus' hands in his own. 

Magnus just shook his head in response. He never wanted to create a rift between Alec and his family. He could never make Alec pick a side - the rejection would hurt far too much. 

"Babes, what's going on? Talk to me," Alec asked, shuffling closer as Magnus shook his head again. 

"I shouldn't, you should hear it from them," Magnus shook his head, as Alec only frowned more, knowing he was missing something. 

"Magnus, I don't care about them for a minute. I care about you, and I'm worried about you," Alec replied. 

He was quiet for a few moments before he spoke. 

"Lillith's back," He said quietly, and he instantly noticed a change in Alec, more alert, and tense. 

"What? How?" 

"They summoned her whilst I was ill, to get her to break Clary's bond with Jonathon, but it went wrong and she escaped," Magnus informed him, not looking at his boyfriend's face as he looked up to signal the bartender and order another drink. 

"Magnus..." Alec said, struggling to find the words. "I'm sorry. I didn't think any of them would be that idiotic," he continued as Magnus shrugged, downing the drink as soon as it was set on the bar in front of him. 

"Neither did I. I get that love makes you do strange things, but the fact that they all agreed on this? After the battle we all went through to banish her not even two weeks ago?" He said, disbelief in his voice as he finally looked at Alec, who had an immensely guilty look on his face. 

"I'm sorry. I should've stopped them," Alec sighed as Magnus shook his head. 

"You were none the wiser. As adults with an ounce of common sense, they should've known that was a bad idea, no matter how desperate. I can't help you get rid of her this time," Magnus replied. 

"I know, after everything you did to help us, I honestly can't believe they'd basically just throw it back in your face like that. Did they mention if anybody else knew?" 

"Apparently, they thought I should be the first to know," Magnus chuckled dryly. 

"That means the Clave won't know," Alec sighed quietly, shaking his head before spinning his barstool towards Magnus. "Are you okay though?" 

"I'll be fine, Alexander. Hadn't you better be getting back to the Institute to sort this all out?" Magnus asked, frowning in confusion. 

"You're more important than any of that crap. I don't wanna leave if you aren't alright," Alec said with a tone of certainty in his voice. 

"Well, I appreciate the sentiment Alexander, but I'll be alright," Magnus replied softly, smiling a little bit as Alec squeezed his hand before getting up slowly from the bar stool. Magnus' head was spinning with thoughts and emotions, but he couldn't burden Alec with those right now. He didn't know how to voice it. 

"Walk back to the Institute with me? I get it if you don't want to be there at the minute but-" 

"Of course. A stroll might do me some good right now," Magnus decided, also standing up without releasing his grip on Alec's hand. He left some bills on the counter to cover his drinks before leaving the bar. They walked in silence for a while, Alec not wanting to smother his boyfriend with his worrying, and Magnus not wanting to burden Alec with his thoughts. 

"Promise me you'll come to me if you want to talk?" Alec asked as they arrived back at the Institute, Alec slowing down as if he was avoiding entering the building. 

"Promise. I hope you don't get too much shit for this," Magnus replied equally as quietly, neither of them saying another word as Alec pulled Magnus into a hug, not knowing how else to show his support. 

"Whatever happens, we'll get through it. We always do."


End file.
